“Mental Freedom”

Who knew I’d be here!!!

2 articles in 2 days after being away for many weeks.

I was recently asked a question, the question was this;

Did I think I was being passed by because I opened up about depression?

I wholeheartedly hope not.

But, at times I think that maybe true.

There’s no danger that I’ve had an awful 12 months, but had I not opened up, would I be further on than I am now?

When you sit in a bath and the water has already drained away you realise you really need to express what you are feeling and what you are thinking.

2017 is a year that I’ve been through hell.

That pretty much sums it up, but one thing I didn’t want depression to serve me was that it defined me.

And sadly, the more you talk about it, the more you are judged by it.

If you know me, you’ll see a big difference, if you meet me for the first time, you wouldn’t even know.

I’ve changed, depression has changed me, throughout all the darkness and I never wish it to return, i’m good, I’m better.

I see life with my eyes wide open…

I observe, I reflect, I take everything in.

But I didn’t expect to be judged for the rest of my life for opening up about an illness I had no control over.

Yes, I chose to speak out!!!

But I chose to speak out because it helped my recovery.

I spoke out because it needed to be said.

I spoke out because someone had too.

I spoke out to show others that we deserve to be heard.

We’ve done nothing wrong, apart from living with our demons for too long.

What am I looking for?

An opportunity, it really is that simple, to gain a footing back on which I can gain some control back in my life.

One that I think that is really starting to hold me back because I am that honest.

That I am that brave.

Is it worth it anymore…

Is it worth it…

Is being true to who you are worth it?

If it’s holding you back?

Should you play the system, or should you always be true to who you are!?!

Me!!!

And one day I may come to regret it, but, you should always remain true to who you are.

My life is coasting and I don’t like it, I hate it.

I hate not having any control.

I hate not having any routine.

I hate not having any structure.

Nigh on 12 months on, did I honestly think I’d be where I am now?

Not a chance in the world.

Don’t get me wrong I’m in a much better place, a place had I not gone through what I have gone through I would never understand, never appreciate, never reflect on, never move forward.

I’m better, and that has come through hard work, commitment, time, patience, trust, willing, support.

All I need, all I deserve is a chance to prove myself.

Otherwise, getting better, for speaking out, for being open, it has all been for nothing.

And as much as I have to believe things will improve, and become better, the life I feel I’m so ever close too that can take me to having a great life, that maybe just fingertips away, may well just be a step too far.

I don’t normally tag songs to anything that I write on here but this sits well with me.

“Mental Freedom”

‘Iron Sky’ – Paulo Nutini

If you are looking for a new employee, I really hope you will consider me?

https://andrewcorryblog.wordpress.com/2017/11/27/why-hire-me/